Unpacking from Kilimanjaro: Lessons from the Journey, Part One

Part One:  Preparation-A Tribute with Gratitude

Climbing Kilimanjaro for a second time after summiting in 2012 seemed like a crazy idea to many.  I was asked, “Why in the world would you want to do this again?” While summiting Kilimanjaro was a personal goal, my ultimate goal centered around creating the space for women to join together as a group in a journey of "being still with a mile" amidst the spirit and camaraderie of leading from within and leading with others. Simply stated, a journey of being and growing.  What transpired for me were ups and downs, celebrations and disappointments, and learning.  It was hardly the yellow brick road!  As I began unpacking from Kilimanjaro both physically and mentally, it became clear that I had much to unpack from the suitcase.  Thus, I hope you will join me in a journey with a series of reflecting and unpacking.

With any task, preparation is vital.  And preparation was two-fold for me, personal preparation and group preparation.  I was excited to have eager people who joined She Summits, were ready for a new challenge, wanted to learn more from our expert guide, Macon Dunnagan, and begin sharing with the other She Summits climbers as we navigated together the packing list, hiked local trails, got to know each other, and bounced ideas off of each other.  I was eager to explore the concept of “being still with a mile” as we all prepared to climb Kilimanjaro.  From my previous experience, developing camaraderie was a huge benefit in the preparation process for a group.

 I felt like my personal preparing and training would be seamless with the experience of the first climb behind me.  But, it was quite the contrary.  Personally, my life was moving at warp speed and the amount of time I had to train could fit through the eye of a needle.  With two months to go before leaving, I found myself in a panic to get in better shape, increase my strength, and push my cardio limits.  I will forever be grateful for the wonderful people at The Exercise Coach in Charlotte.  They walked alongside me with the most efficient training regimen.  It truly was the biggest bang for my buck.  In addition to a weekend hike, my training was only twenty minutes a day twice a week with machines and weights coupled with twenty minutes a day twice a week with cardio.  Pete and Cat would greet me with a smile and ask me about my energy level before beginning a workout.  The machines were programmed and customized to my ability and would stretch my limits accordingly.  I remember one day not feeling too hot.  And Pete, with my permission, said he wanted to push me.  After all, I probably wouldn't be feeling too hot at some point on the mountain.  I finished the workout breaking several personal records!  He not only pushed me, but also pointed out a very important lesson to me.  He said, “You are stronger than you think you are.” 

I held his encouragement very close to me.  When I faced doubt on the mountain in any situation, I remembered Pete’s words.  They were comfort, support, and strength.  The preparation with The Exercise Coach paid off.  Each day on the mountain, my muscles felt alive and strong and my cardio level was greater than the first climb.  I was thrilled when I put my head on my make-shift pillow of a rolled up jacket each night that I was not aching with pain.  It was invigorating to explore the campsites after completing the daily hikes.  In my previous climb, I chose to forego afternoon hikes to conserve my energy.  I was eager for summit night and to zip up in the new parka the folks at The Exercise Coach gave me.  I felt as if they were on the climb with me.  Ironically, his words proved the most valuable with the mental rather than the physical aspect of the climb.

 “There” is only “here” for the moment and the lessons along the way last a lifetime.  This became my personal quote.  No matter what we do well or if we fail, the experience simply becomes a memory.  And I learned three lessons from the preparation phase of the She Summits journey.  First, sufficient might be good enough, but efficiency is the best plan.  Second, you are stronger than you know, so push it!  And third, "be prepared."  Borrowing the scouts motto, be prepared, both physically and mentally, my mindset was to do the right thing at the right time.  Leadership involves being prepared and always considering what is right.  Personal leadership is about what is right for me while leadership within a group considers what is beneficial for all.  Preparing for my second climb was the preliminary work for some of my biggest leadership challenges while climbing majestic Kilimanjaro.  Unpacking: Part Two coming soon...

The power of ONE. The impact of the SUM.

The power of one is the power to do something. anything.  "The power of ONE" youtube video highlights how one person and one action can start a chain reaction of impactful change.  An experience, a story, a meaningful moment that not only touches your heart, but grasps it with a hold that beckons you to act... http://youtu.be/_QzjqOl2N9c

I am on my way to Africa to climb Mount Kilimanjaro for the second time.  After my first climb in 2012 with Rotary District 7680, I knew I wanted to share the experience with others.  The 2014 She Summits group will embark on the massive mountain in just a few short days.  While I am traveling, my mind wanders to the journey... the journey within, the physical journey, and the journey beyond for each and every person.  What are the personal mountains?  What will the impact be?  How will the journey affect others?  What can I offer for positive change?  The power of one begins within inviting one step towards action which is quite similar to climbing Mt Kilimanjaro.  And, the impact of the sum is endless.  What happens when many take steps of action?  An African proverb states, "Go alone and go fast.  Go together and go far."  We can do much greater things together and it starts with one person, one step, one act, one desire.  Let me introduce you to TanzaCare.  TanzaCare is the result of one.  One teenage girl highly impacted by her own climb up Kilimanjaro and her desire to give back to the community.  TanzaCare continues because of the impact of the sum.  Following the footsteps of many others over the past year, She Summits climbers are transporting school supplies, making donations, and even donating their time to teach while in Tanzania.  I invite you to give us a cheer of encouragement for our climb and a "high five" $5 donation at www.TanzaCare.org to support the children and their desire for education.  Stayed tuned for updates of our climb!  Thanks for your prayers, support, and encouragement.  

Happy Father's Day!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there.  And a very special wish to my dad.  When I think about my dad, many snapshots race through my mind.  I love and appreciate my dad and can recall many examples of his generosity, compassion, support, strength, integrity, and love.  One story, in particular, speaks to the image I hold of fatherhood.  When I was about eight, my dad built a balance beam for  me to practice gymnastics and he "spotted" me as I learned to do back handsprings and back flips.  Over and over, I would incessantly jump backwards with Dad's hand supporting my back.  Sometimes I  landed on my feet, sometimes my knees, and oftentimes, my rear!  Over and over again, Dad patiently positioned himself in the grass, "spotting"me so I would not get hurt.  Many years later, he told me how he would rather build ten balance beams than be the only support between me and the ground as I tried to master gymnastics.  It was hard for him to "spot" and guide me for fear I would get hurt.  But, he put his fear and his desire to protect his baby girl aside allowing me to take the risks needed in order to learn the flips.  Repeatedly, he was there for me as I tried.  He held the space and supported me while I figured out what I did wrong and what I did right.  I eventually mastered the back flips and enjoyed gymnastics for several years.  My dad was my biggest supporter through the ups and downs, failures and successes.  His love was strong, patient, kind, generous, protective, and supportive.  I am grateful for my dad and for who he is in my life.  I am grateful his legacy of love continues with his presence in my children's lives today.   

Value is in the Eyes of the Beholder

How many “likes” did I get on that last picture?  That is a question many people ask as if the number of “likes” is a magical barometer for self worth or value.  The problem with this line of thinking lies within the definition.  Only “self” can determine self worth and expecting others to determine self worth is counter productive.  Consider the lyrics to the popular John Legend song, “All of Me.”  What if the lyrics were like having a conversation with your inner self?  Imagine saying to yourself, “…All of me loves all of you; love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections… “  Learning to create a loving relationship with yourself and cultivate a spirit of grace for yourself will help with self confidence and self image.  It is kind of like getting to know your “selfie” and will grow your ability to love and be loved.  Value is in the eyes of the beholder.  When you look in the mirror, what do you see?  Ultimately, the final word lies within you and not with the comments, judgments, or compliments of others.  What lens are you using to see yourself?  Do you need to adjust the focus?  Consider seeking professional therapy as a healthy tool to help you learn how to adjust your lens if you feel your self perception relies too much with what others think. 

From High Heels to Hiking Boots... If the Shoe Fits, Wear It!

She Summits- Kilimanjaro 2014. Why in the world did I decide to do this AGAIN?

In 2012 I climbed Africa's largest mountain with a group of friends from Rotary who committed to climbing Kili for a cause. While raising funds was the foremost reason for climbing, many of us had personal goals for embarking on such a journey. I had an "aha" moment when I realized how I was encouraging others to reach beyond their comfort zones and challenge themselves to grow. Yet, when was the last time I had actually done such a thing? How can I expect others to do what I am not willing to do myself? As the story goes, the Kili opportunity presented itself many times, but after my "aha" moment, it was just the right time. When my awareness and desire for a challenging adventure was met with opportunity, I said yes and began training for a trip of a lifetime.

Climbing Kili was a time to abandon my comfortable cross trainer shoes and beloved high heels to embrace my hiking boots. There's something to said about support from your friends and especially your hiking boots! I needed both! Climbing Kili led me along trails, both mentally and physically, I had never before explored. Kili was quite the playground to practice some professional training in mindfulness and centered awareness. It was...
A time to be still, although I was hiking.
A time to relax, although my heart beat at a cardio pace.
A time to explore my thoughts going down the winding road of my mind while embracing the scene of discovery, although I was filled with apprehension and fear.
A time to fellowship with friends and develop camaraderie, although the journey was intimately personal.
A time to accomplish my personal goals, although I was part of a larger goal.

As Max Lucado said, "The sweetest satisfaction lies not in climbing your own Everest [or Kilimanjaro], but in helping others climb theirs." It is the larger goal that has led me to Kili 2014 with a desire to create an opportunity for other women to choose their challenge embracing the experience to live life completely full... full of courage, full of faith, full of commitment, full of compassion, full of fellowship, full of gratitude, and full of life. Discovering the world and choosing to grow through a mindful journey climbing the majestic Mt Kilimanjaro is transformational personal leadership.

Is it your time to say, "Yes"?

Join the journey!

FMI... see the She Summits-Kilimanjaro 2014 Facebook page.

Treasures in the Sand

Have you ever considered the resilience of a sand dollar? These small round flat spiny echinoderms are some of the most prized gifts for hopeful beachcombers. Today, I took a walk along the beach. I had a very simple agenda to embrace the moment, enjoy God’s beauty, and feel the inspiration from being close to nature. I also wanted to test the healing progress of my Achilles tendon. As I walked along the shoreline, I noticed the birds. The small sandpipers were fervently pecking away at the morsels of goodness in the sand. I noticed a pelican gliding just above the waves and also how it seemed to be flying in place as it patiently waited to dive for fish. How does a bird fly in place? I wonder if that is similar to “being still with a mile?” A few people passed me walking in the other direction. A golden retriever seemed to be laughing as he splashed in the water to retrieve his stick. I mentally commented to myself that the couple wading in the water were utterly crazy! Although the sun was beaming, it was 49 degrees and quite windy. I continued my beach stroll and my thoughts settled on sand dollars. Why do people spend countless hours searching for sand dollars and unique shells? What is so special about them? I began to think about how a sand dollar can be tossed by the waves and preyed upon by other sea creatures. Their respite is to bury themselves in the sand for protection. And when their life cycle is over, they wash upon the shore to the delight of hopeful beachcombers. However, it is a treasure and unique find to come across a sand dollar that has withstood the elements and remained intact. Usually, they are crushed by the force of the waves as they topple ashore. Could it be a symbol of courage? Or perhaps resilience? Could a sand dollar be a symbol of hope? And then while my thoughts were dancing in my head, I saw out of the corner of my eye the sparkle of a white round disc lying in the sand bar just beyond a tide pool. I stopped to get a closer look. I couldn’t tell if it was a whole sand dollar, and yet I stood staring… mesmerized by it. I glanced down at the water that kept me from reaching it with my hand as I paused and considered my options. If I wanted to hold that sand dollar, I had to walk in the freezing cold water. Surely, I was crazy! Just like the couple I noticed earlier walking in the water. And then, my perspective began to shift. The water was simply an obstacle keeping me from inspecting a sand dollar more closely. I reached down and pulled off each of my shoes and socks, rolled up my double layer of long johns and yoga pants and proceeded to wade through the water. To my delight, the sparkling disc was indeed a whole sand dollar. I continued to walk in the water, laughing silently at myself, and discovered several more sand dollars. I also noticed that the cold water felt soothing on my heel. A couple reflections about this experience stand out for consideration. First, my mindset completely changed with a 180 degree turn of how I was thinking about the water. Secondly, the sand dollar became even more special because I had to work a little harder for it and make an intentional decision as to whether or not it was worth my effort. Additionally, that effort was only to discover whether or not it was a whole sand dollar. All of the effort was exerted with only hope for the reward. How often do we have a fixed mindset in life? How often do we allow our mindset to open with discovery? Overcoming adversity is encouraging and rewarding. Viewing obstacles as an opportunity to add value can influence our outcomes in life. Take a leap of faith! Step out with hope. And follow your own life adventure with an essence of discovery.

My Adventure on the Mountain via Janice Holly Booth

Many thanks to Janice for inviting me to share my Kilimanjaro journey. Please visit her site to read the story...
http://www.janicehollybooth.com/adventurist/your-story/adventurista-on-the-mountain-new/

A Polio Story of Perseverance, Passion, and Purpose

Small acts, when multiplied by millions, can change the world. For Lynn Campbell, a young woman living in Oklahoma, the small act of kindness came when an anonymous donor paid for her to receive art lessons in a most non-traditional manner. Lynn could only use her mouth as a result of the complications from the disease, polio and living in an iron lung. Lynn’s story of perseverance, passion, and purpose inspired and touched many lives while she was alive and continues to have an impact well beyond her lifespan.

Upon learning of her disease, Lynn dropped into hopelessness as she planned her suicide. After an unsuccessful attempt, she decided to look at life differently trying to find small glimpses of joy. Through this initial perseverance, she discovered painting, an outlet where she could process with each brushstroke the frustrations, joys, and emotions of trying to make sense of the events in her life. After the kind generosity of an anonymous donor, Lynn went on to become an accomplished artist with oil painting, an art teacher, an author, and an inspiring role model for others.

Polio eventually took Lynn’s life in the 1980’s but it never took her spirit. She felt blessed with the opportunities in her life and she passionately lived each day with gratitude and purpose. Through sharing her story, her life, and her talents, she inspired many to seek the infinite possibilities, to give back, and make a positive impact in the world.

By sharing my intent to climb Kilimanjaro, I received the touching gift of Lynn’s story from my mother-in-law, Lynn’s cousin. Lynn’s artwork and memory spans the walls of my in-laws home in Texas to the Oklahoma building in Washington DC. And her legacy of perseverance, passion, and purpose continues in far reaching ways. Just as she leaned into the trials of life with polio and discovered new meaning for her life, we can lean into life’s challenges and discover new possibilities. Climbing Kili will surely present the challenges of an enormous mountain and I will carry her story with me as I climb.

Please join Rotary and myself in putting an end to polio! Click to conveniently and securely donate online: http://rotary7680kiliclimb.org/index.php/climbers/4-debra-corbett

Complete the sentence ________.

What was the last thing you completed? Perhaps it was a crossword puzzle, or the weekend “to do” list. Maybe finishing a marathon highlighted with a deep sense of accomplishment considering the hours of commitment, sweat, and training. Regardless of how big or small the task, a sense of accomplishment nurtures confidence, satisfaction, and feeling successful. Webster defines “complete” as fully carried out; brought to an end; having all the necessary steps or parts. Completion requires commitment to self and often commitment to others.

Would you consider accepting a paycheck and never depositing it? Or dialing a number partially and expecting to communicate? I am reminded of an example of creative discipline when in response to a teenager choosing to fulfill their school, homework, and home responsibilities half way, the parent drove the child halfway to the movie theater and stopped. Of course, the parent told the child they would drive them to the movies and the child assumed that meant the complete route. The parent chose a brilliant example to illustrate the integrity, implied trust, and the domino effect of completing an obligation and fulfilling responsibility.

In life, I often hear the debate between which is more important… the journey or the destination. And I believe both are completely and comprehensively important. In the journey lie the steps. The steps of failure and success, the steps of fear and courage, the steps of choices, learning, and growth. Without the steps, the destination would not happen. Life is a journey. And within the journey of life, we purposely set goals with ourselves, our children, our jobs, etc. Destination culminates with completion and accomplishment honoring the process from start to finish. I encourage you to complete the sentence… This week, this month, and/or this year I commit to finishing my goal of _____________. Enjoy!

Choose Action: Open the Fences of Labels

Your mindset is what you make it and does not depend on a diagnosis or label to prescribe the fixed limits. We live in a world of diagnoses and labels… ADHD, depressed, gifted/talented, bipolar, extrovert, introvert, winner, loser, and the list goes on. To a degree, your experiences and all that you are create who you are, but it does not dictate who you are. You have very specific opinions about things that closely resemble your own experiences. Regardless if your experiences are positive, negative, or neutral, you have the freedom to choose how they will show up in your life and how much emphasis they will carry into your future.

Sometimes, people are given a diagnosis or label by others as in the case of school testing or doctors’ diagnoses. And even then, you can still choose how that will play out in your life. How many times have cancer survivors beaten the odds? What about those who were told they will never walk again and surpass walking to adopt a habit of running? There are many ADHD CEO’s out there! These people refused to subscribe to the limits of labels. A label might explain why something is more difficult and can help create an efficient life plan. And when used in a positive way, it can also create a springboard for success. Or, it can stifle motivation and create a fenced in box tightly bound by the label. For example, Carol Dweck, in her book, Mindset, discussed how children reinforced for their effort out-performed those who were told they were the best. Perhaps the “best” label constricts motivation to continue growing? Perhaps focusing on "doing" rather than what is "done" motivates growth?

Think about the labels you have for yourself, either prescribed by others or self-prescribed. I am ______. Write them down. Look at them and make intentional choices as to what you will carry with you this year. Tear down the fences so you can carve your own path.

New Year's Resolutions: Goals, Values, and Things "Too" Do

The new year is a valuable time to refocus on life and set new goals. What you choose within your life scope is completely up to you. However, when you align your values with your goals, your chances for success increase dramatically. What are your values? You might start by looking at your checkbook and see how you spend your money. Or perhaps do a daily time log and see where you spend your time. These external indicators can help clarify what you might value outside of yourself.

What about internally? What are the core values that set the foundation for who you are so much that if they were taken away, it would no longer seem like you? What attributes or values are thematically woven through your personal life, school life, family life, and your business life? Setting resolutions or goals allow us to reflect, evaluate, and plan for what we want. Often times, people use “I should” and “I need to” when in actuality, they do not want to or they lack the belief or faith to do it.

Goals can be defined as process oriented or outcome oriented. Do you want to adapt a healthy habit which is an ongoing process or do you want to complete a marathon? While using both process and outcome are important, you might find that you value one more than the other. I enjoyed talking with another person who, like myself, had a mentally challenging workout today. As I listened to how she struggled with her performance feeling completed defeated with her swim workout, I could relate to my own mind over matter battle with the stair climber. For me, enjoying the music and focusing on the tunes rather than the time proved to be a helpful tool. We both agreed that enjoying the process helped us complete the task for today.

A final note to consider when determining your New Year’s goals is a short “too” do list:
too many- pick two
too unrealistic- make it achievable (either as a process or outcome)
too vague-clearly define with an action plan and write them down
too little faith- believe in yourself

All the best and choose to grow in 2012!

Compassionate Gifts

"It is better to give than receive." Ever heard that phrase? What do you think about the message? During the holiday season, we find many different opportunities to help others, give gifts, and do something good for someone else. We encourage co-workers at our business and children at their schools to donate food for the hungry, share coats to provide warmth, and buy gifts for those who might otherwise not have anything to open. Indeed, it makes sense to agree with the idea that giving is better than receiving. Giving makes the world a better place.

However, I think it is a very narrow-minded message. If we only emphasize the importance of giving, we may overlook how to receive. How many people allow themselves or know how to receive gifts, compliments, and/or gratitude? Allowing yourself to open up and receive is necessary in the process. The book, "Open You Life, Open Your Mind," cites the defining characteristic of true compassion is when the helper recognizes that he/she and the person being helped are equally in need of each other for their personal growth. In other words, both the giver and the receiver are blessed in the process.

Do you prefer to give or receive? Do you know how to both give and receive?

I like to think of laughter as a gift. In particular, GIGGLE… Gladly Inspire Gratitude, Grace, Love, & Encouragement (and don’t forget to laugh at yourself, too!)

Share a smile and GIGGLE :o)

Stop - Look - Listen

Stop. Look. and Listen! From children’s shows to the family dinner table and lessons from school, children have learned to stop, look, and listen before crossing the street. Three very simple words rooted in our minds for traffic safety. And when we take a closer look, they additionally apply so well to everyday living. How often do we stop, look, and listen as we go about our daily routine? Routine, in itself, lends to a more of a mindless set of habitual behavior requiring very little thought. Why do we need to pay attention to sipping coffee in the morning or savor the daily farewells like “have a good day” and “I love you.” In particular, how often do you notice the ongoing internal dialogue you have with yourself? What are the messages in your silent whispers?

What do you mutter to yourself when you first wake up in the morning? Without realizing it, you set the tone for your daily perspective. It truly doesn’t matter which side of the bed you step out from. What you whisper under your breath will frame your thoughts, behaviors, and reactions. I encourage you to take a moment, observe, and listen to your thoughts or breath whispers. Even at this very moment, what are you thinking as you read? Engage yourself in the small breaks of your day and observe your surroundings as you take your next water break at work or school. Intentionally choose to smile at yourself with your internal words and observe what happens when you reflect your thoughts in an outward way. May you find blessings, enthusiasm, and extra energy today.

Seasons Greetings!

Perhaps you naturally thought this to be a holiday blog? Actually, it is more of a reflection on welcoming the changing seasons and observing a few of the intricate details in the cycle. Seasons change, leaves let go, roots deepen, and the tree grows. What images, thoughts, and feelings appear for you with this statement?

Each season shares its unique beauty with us. Fall foliage against a clear blue sky creates a spectacular canvas of warm beauty. Fall indicates the season of thanksgiving… a time to intentionally express gratitude and share blessings with others. Today, most of the leaves have now let go and fallen to the ground where they await the laughter of children as they repeatedly rake and plunge into the leaves. The leaves graciously take a break for the season allowing the roots to take center stage as they strengthen and deepen into the ground.

Life can be similar to ever-changing seasons. With each day, we move forward, press on, and the seasons change. We meet each day with the opportunity for growth enriching our lives with new experiences, increased knowledge, and meeting new people. While not all experiences are welcomed with open arms, we can learn and grow stronger from each, if we so choose. Change is inevitable, but growth is optional. Just like the leaves on a tree, sometimes change involves letting go in order to move forward with growth. Fill in the blank for yourself.... letting go of_____ and deepening roots of _____. Embrace your experience and grow with the journey.

Blessings to you all!

Going B.E.Y.O.N.D. for the Holidays

Load up the car! Put on your best behavior! You are off to spend quality time with family and relatives! Perhaps the difference between the “holiday blues” and “holiday stress” is longing to be with loved ones versus knowing you will spend copious amount of ‘enjoyable’ time with loved ones.
In all things, give thanks. It’s a meaningful time to reflect on your blessings and your trials which you’ve been promised will turn into blessings! It’s that one time of year where gratitude abounds for anything and everything including you bipolar Aunt Suzie, narcissistic cousin Paul, and unruly twin nephews, Nick and Nate.
Amongst pondering my blessings and planning the road trip for holiday family togetherness, I ran across Martha Beck’s blog about dysfunctional family bingo. What an ingenious idea! Probably everyone can recall a few annoying habits of relatives that send you running for the eggnog, escaping with the ipad, or signal the game on whistle of a good family fight. What if, instead of allowing your blood to boil, you played a fun private game of bingo? You get to label all the dysfunctional habits of your dearly loved ones on a game card and proudly look for those behaviors (since you KNOW it’s going to happen!) Enlist a secret game partner and the race is on to see who can bingo first! My rendition of this competitive camaraderie is called B.E.Y.O.N.D. BINGO. Boldly Enjoying Your Outlaws, Nelatives, and Divas… For the purpose of the game, “outlaws” refers to the term used in your mind when speaking of your in-laws while “nelatives” is short for no-way-not-my-relatives. And “diva” defines anyone regardless of age, gender, or bloodline who resembles a spoiled rotten brat.
Time to create your B.E.Y.O.N.D. Bingo game card with 24 habits, and then reposition those habits on your partner’s game card. Come up with a fun prize for whoever wins and let the games begin while enjoying a stress-less time with family.
While the bingo game lends to light-hearted fun, it also addresses many important factors for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interrelation skills. Changing your perspective is critical for change, in general. Viewing annoying habits as something to anticipate because it helps your bingo cause is a creative way to shift the kaleidoscope lens. You cannot change or control others, but you can change and control your reaction to others. Anticipate fun, manage your reactions, and boldly enjoy the holidays with a twist of strategy for handling the stress. Cheers!