Going B.E.Y.O.N.D. for the Holidays

Load up the car! Put on your best behavior! You are off to spend quality time with family and relatives! Perhaps the difference between the “holiday blues” and “holiday stress” is longing to be with loved ones versus knowing you will spend copious amount of ‘enjoyable’ time with loved ones.
In all things, give thanks. It’s a meaningful time to reflect on your blessings and your trials which you’ve been promised will turn into blessings! It’s that one time of year where gratitude abounds for anything and everything including you bipolar Aunt Suzie, narcissistic cousin Paul, and unruly twin nephews, Nick and Nate.
Amongst pondering my blessings and planning the road trip for holiday family togetherness, I ran across Martha Beck’s blog about dysfunctional family bingo. What an ingenious idea! Probably everyone can recall a few annoying habits of relatives that send you running for the eggnog, escaping with the ipad, or signal the game on whistle of a good family fight. What if, instead of allowing your blood to boil, you played a fun private game of bingo? You get to label all the dysfunctional habits of your dearly loved ones on a game card and proudly look for those behaviors (since you KNOW it’s going to happen!) Enlist a secret game partner and the race is on to see who can bingo first! My rendition of this competitive camaraderie is called B.E.Y.O.N.D. BINGO. Boldly Enjoying Your Outlaws, Nelatives, and Divas… For the purpose of the game, “outlaws” refers to the term used in your mind when speaking of your in-laws while “nelatives” is short for no-way-not-my-relatives. And “diva” defines anyone regardless of age, gender, or bloodline who resembles a spoiled rotten brat.
Time to create your B.E.Y.O.N.D. Bingo game card with 24 habits, and then reposition those habits on your partner’s game card. Come up with a fun prize for whoever wins and let the games begin while enjoying a stress-less time with family.
While the bingo game lends to light-hearted fun, it also addresses many important factors for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interrelation skills. Changing your perspective is critical for change, in general. Viewing annoying habits as something to anticipate because it helps your bingo cause is a creative way to shift the kaleidoscope lens. You cannot change or control others, but you can change and control your reaction to others. Anticipate fun, manage your reactions, and boldly enjoy the holidays with a twist of strategy for handling the stress. Cheers!