Compassionate Gifts

"It is better to give than receive." Ever heard that phrase? What do you think about the message? During the holiday season, we find many different opportunities to help others, give gifts, and do something good for someone else. We encourage co-workers at our business and children at their schools to donate food for the hungry, share coats to provide warmth, and buy gifts for those who might otherwise not have anything to open. Indeed, it makes sense to agree with the idea that giving is better than receiving. Giving makes the world a better place.

However, I think it is a very narrow-minded message. If we only emphasize the importance of giving, we may overlook how to receive. How many people allow themselves or know how to receive gifts, compliments, and/or gratitude? Allowing yourself to open up and receive is necessary in the process. The book, "Open You Life, Open Your Mind," cites the defining characteristic of true compassion is when the helper recognizes that he/she and the person being helped are equally in need of each other for their personal growth. In other words, both the giver and the receiver are blessed in the process.

Do you prefer to give or receive? Do you know how to both give and receive?

I like to think of laughter as a gift. In particular, GIGGLE… Gladly Inspire Gratitude, Grace, Love, & Encouragement (and don’t forget to laugh at yourself, too!)

Share a smile and GIGGLE :o)

Stop - Look - Listen

Stop. Look. and Listen! From children’s shows to the family dinner table and lessons from school, children have learned to stop, look, and listen before crossing the street. Three very simple words rooted in our minds for traffic safety. And when we take a closer look, they additionally apply so well to everyday living. How often do we stop, look, and listen as we go about our daily routine? Routine, in itself, lends to a more of a mindless set of habitual behavior requiring very little thought. Why do we need to pay attention to sipping coffee in the morning or savor the daily farewells like “have a good day” and “I love you.” In particular, how often do you notice the ongoing internal dialogue you have with yourself? What are the messages in your silent whispers?

What do you mutter to yourself when you first wake up in the morning? Without realizing it, you set the tone for your daily perspective. It truly doesn’t matter which side of the bed you step out from. What you whisper under your breath will frame your thoughts, behaviors, and reactions. I encourage you to take a moment, observe, and listen to your thoughts or breath whispers. Even at this very moment, what are you thinking as you read? Engage yourself in the small breaks of your day and observe your surroundings as you take your next water break at work or school. Intentionally choose to smile at yourself with your internal words and observe what happens when you reflect your thoughts in an outward way. May you find blessings, enthusiasm, and extra energy today.

Seasons Greetings!

Perhaps you naturally thought this to be a holiday blog? Actually, it is more of a reflection on welcoming the changing seasons and observing a few of the intricate details in the cycle. Seasons change, leaves let go, roots deepen, and the tree grows. What images, thoughts, and feelings appear for you with this statement?

Each season shares its unique beauty with us. Fall foliage against a clear blue sky creates a spectacular canvas of warm beauty. Fall indicates the season of thanksgiving… a time to intentionally express gratitude and share blessings with others. Today, most of the leaves have now let go and fallen to the ground where they await the laughter of children as they repeatedly rake and plunge into the leaves. The leaves graciously take a break for the season allowing the roots to take center stage as they strengthen and deepen into the ground.

Life can be similar to ever-changing seasons. With each day, we move forward, press on, and the seasons change. We meet each day with the opportunity for growth enriching our lives with new experiences, increased knowledge, and meeting new people. While not all experiences are welcomed with open arms, we can learn and grow stronger from each, if we so choose. Change is inevitable, but growth is optional. Just like the leaves on a tree, sometimes change involves letting go in order to move forward with growth. Fill in the blank for yourself.... letting go of_____ and deepening roots of _____. Embrace your experience and grow with the journey.

Blessings to you all!

Going B.E.Y.O.N.D. for the Holidays

Load up the car! Put on your best behavior! You are off to spend quality time with family and relatives! Perhaps the difference between the “holiday blues” and “holiday stress” is longing to be with loved ones versus knowing you will spend copious amount of ‘enjoyable’ time with loved ones.
In all things, give thanks. It’s a meaningful time to reflect on your blessings and your trials which you’ve been promised will turn into blessings! It’s that one time of year where gratitude abounds for anything and everything including you bipolar Aunt Suzie, narcissistic cousin Paul, and unruly twin nephews, Nick and Nate.
Amongst pondering my blessings and planning the road trip for holiday family togetherness, I ran across Martha Beck’s blog about dysfunctional family bingo. What an ingenious idea! Probably everyone can recall a few annoying habits of relatives that send you running for the eggnog, escaping with the ipad, or signal the game on whistle of a good family fight. What if, instead of allowing your blood to boil, you played a fun private game of bingo? You get to label all the dysfunctional habits of your dearly loved ones on a game card and proudly look for those behaviors (since you KNOW it’s going to happen!) Enlist a secret game partner and the race is on to see who can bingo first! My rendition of this competitive camaraderie is called B.E.Y.O.N.D. BINGO. Boldly Enjoying Your Outlaws, Nelatives, and Divas… For the purpose of the game, “outlaws” refers to the term used in your mind when speaking of your in-laws while “nelatives” is short for no-way-not-my-relatives. And “diva” defines anyone regardless of age, gender, or bloodline who resembles a spoiled rotten brat.
Time to create your B.E.Y.O.N.D. Bingo game card with 24 habits, and then reposition those habits on your partner’s game card. Come up with a fun prize for whoever wins and let the games begin while enjoying a stress-less time with family.
While the bingo game lends to light-hearted fun, it also addresses many important factors for emotion regulation, distress tolerance, and interrelation skills. Changing your perspective is critical for change, in general. Viewing annoying habits as something to anticipate because it helps your bingo cause is a creative way to shift the kaleidoscope lens. You cannot change or control others, but you can change and control your reaction to others. Anticipate fun, manage your reactions, and boldly enjoy the holidays with a twist of strategy for handling the stress. Cheers!